What’s the recipe for the most hilarious disaster ever? Apparently you take a pinch of porn and a dash of blasphemy and mix it together real good. I’m warning you that this is graphic, but also probably the funniest thing you’re going to read all week. I was literally laughing until I cried. Stop drinking all beverages now. If you click the link below, you can read the full story. Make sure you read the comments, which are even funnier than the story, or maybe I just have a sick sense of humor.
A male porn star calling himself Prince Yahshua has apparently broken his penis for the second time. That’s right, a second time. I had no clue this was even a possibility at all. To make matters worse, they are taking donations from fans to help get it fixed. You’d think he’d get the message the first time. Using a variation of the name of Christ to do porn can’t be conducive to your health. Here is what happened the first time in his own words. Warning: graphic language.
The 40-year-old porn actor’s harrowing tale (as told to porn-news site XBIZ) begins with Bethany Benz (Caviar’s porn name) on top of him. We’ll spare you the positional details, but it’s suffice to say that it wasn’t working out. Sayeth Prince Yahshua:
“Ten seconds into it, her rhythm wasn’t matching with my rhythm. As I put my head to the side to talk to her, the next thing you heard was…[crunch].
“She jumped off and I guess it’s the equivalent of going to your backyard, you know how you turn on your garden hose and it sprays out? That’s exactly what happened out of my d***. It was like five to six people got massacred in the room, not killed, massacred.
“I lost a pint and a half of blood. The reason why I didn’t lose consciousness is because I was shocked and I kept on biting my lower lip so I wouldn’t fade out.”
Are you throwing up yet? Yahshua underwent a three-hour surgery (in an unlikely turn, his doctor turned out to be a “fan”), because as Yahshua says, “my pee hole was ripped and the aligning wall muscle to my d*** was torn.
One would think that having their penis suddenly rip open and spray down an entire porn set with a pint of blood, would discourage them from the business, or at least from using the name of Christ. But nope, he kept at it and it happened again. And now a quick lesson on blasphemy from the Bible.
“Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.” – Deuteronomy 5:11